Somewhere between childhood and adulthood things went wrong. I thought things would just fall into place. I thought I was “gifted” and I thought it would all come to me as promised. Never thought I would be this fucked up. Never looked at myself and thought I would be this weak. Never thought I would need a “crutch”. Never thought I would need something just to get through a day. Never thought I would need this just to get out of bed in the morning. Never thought I would be addicted to something. Never thought I would be this crazy. Never thought I would need to do this without the structure I imagined in my dreams when I was a child. Never thought I would be able to. Never thought I could manage any of this alone. Never knew I could be so strong.